Q&A: Yitzhak Miller Talks How To Find Prince Charmingby caroline
Well, hello there! Welcome to another installment of our “Q&A” series. Today we’re featuring Yitzhak Miller, who trained at Stanford and UCLA medical centers, is nationally board-certified by the American Psychotherapy Association, is completing his Sex Educator training with the San Francisco Sexuality Institute, is completing his Tantra educator training with Charles Muir’s Source Tantra, and — though his “Masterfully Discern a Man’s Integrity” programs are totally non-religious — he also happens to be an ordained Rabbi. For more information about Yitzi, visit www.DiscernHisIntegrity.org. You can also join his free, interactive teleseminar, How to Stop Kissing Frogs in 60 Days or Less, tomorrow at 1 p.m. PST/4 p.m. EST.
1.) I have a lot of single gal pals who say things like “all men are jerks” or plain and simply “men suck”. How do you help people with such feelings understand that they can in fact find meaningful relationships?
The entire foundation of the “Masterfully Discern a Man’s Integrity” programs is developing the ability to masterfully discern what are actual indications of a man’s integrity (Is He a Frog or a Prince?) and what are indications of a woman’s past hurts that may be “coloring her lens” (What’s Keeping You Locked in the Tower?). The fastest way to a meaningful relationship is recognizing and affirming that we ALL want them. Then we work on “our stuff” and find partners who are committed to working on “their stuff”.
2.) Why do you think some people just seem to fall for the wrong partners over and over again?
Same reason any of us make repeated mistakes — life’s little way of pointing us to something we might want to look at in ourselves. Einstein’s famous old quote: “Insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results”. For better or for worse — there’s nothing better at pointing us to those things we need to look at than the challenges we find with intimate relationships.
3.) In your opinion, how does a fulfilling partnership contribute to overall health?
There is an old saying from the Talmud (he puts on his “Rabbi hat”) that a person stuck in a pit cannot lift themselves out. We were built to be in relationship. There is nothing more painful than a relationship that hurts us in our vulnerable spaces, but nothing more fulfilling than a relationship that supports us in our vulnerable spaces.
4.) What’s one of the top mistakes women make when first meeting a guy?
A. Starting with one of two presumptions: 1.) “All men are boneheads!” or 2) “My ‘picker’ is hopelessly broken.”
B. Looking for the “perfect guy”. Even if she finds “the perfect guy”, both he and she are going to change. Find a guy who also knows that and is committed to growing as a team.The “Frog or Prince” checklist we will distribute on this teleseminar is built with keys to look for that will anchor a long-term relationship …
5.) How can women who are in committed relationships help their gal pals who are not (without coming off in a condescending way)?
Participate in the “Masterfully Discern a Man’s Integrity” programs along with her friend. Twenty percent [of participants] are in relationships, and another 20% are doing the programs to help their relationships with men in business and other areas of their lives. [They can also] help their pals be honest with themselves about what’s “his stuff” and what’s “her stuff”. And in their own relationships, learn the key techniques of “How to Transform a Frog into a Prince” (or how to invite a man into his integrity — but that’s a different teleseminar.)